Yay Thunderstorms
I have decided I love food. I love fast food like In n' Out. I love high fatty gourmet food, I even love steaks that have been cooked perfectly, which is something rather odd because I used to hate them. I hate frozen, fake and packaged food(with the exception of mac and cheese). I need to actually learn how to cook better, but so does everyone I guess. I have decided I will always be a fat kid, so I will just actually have to work out in order to compensate for the fact I love food. I am proud of being a fatty, to the extent of not being obese. This is a new goal, work out and eat like a pig. I no longer care about what size I am I will just eat pizza and then go for a run...I know I am stupid for saying all of this, but there has always been this stupid pressure to lose weight and be skinny. I now embracing my fat kidness and literally running with her, fuck skinny. Fat and happy is how I am going to be.
After my first day of running I had an immense headache of dehydration and my body telling me I hate you. I know because of the pounding in my head and no matter how much water I would drink or what I would eat nothing cured it. Then the running and Pilates, where the instructor was a complete BITCH. I have never seen someone who hated what he does more than me. He was bragging about the "energy" in the gym but then not helping anyone. If I do go to another class it will be somewhere else.
Then I went to Bikram yoga. 130 degrees and 90 minutes of yoga. A strain on the mind and on the body. Everyone was telling me how you feel so much better afterwards, and you actually do. At least you are not in the blaring sun so it does not totally feel like you are doing yoga outside in Las Vegas in the Summer. I did feel energized and could not stop talking. Plus I had the whole mind forcing myself through it, which I miss. It was the whole detox behind it all too. James came with me, someone who had never done yoga before in his life managed to make it though. I was proud of him. It is not easy. He will get it I hope.
This week has been all spinning. I did yoga before on Monday. Wednesday I was up at the butt crack of dawn to go, then I was planning on going to yoga, but did not manage to get there. I just had no energy left because of work and being up at 4. I wish I had gone. There is the school year though. It is not an excuse, but still I either was hungry or I am just worn out. I have worked six straight days, and today will be seven. Who knows how this going to the gym three times a week thing will be panning out for me though....
So far I am liking it. Now if I could just make it outside to work out and run.
