Being little

When I was little I would look up at moon and actually think I was talking to him. I do not know why, I always thought there was a face in there, and he was a man I could talk to. Like it was God or just some man who was stuck out there. I know it sounds weird, but it was something comforting to me when my parents would be fighting or I just wished I was somewhere else. My imagination would take me to so many places with the man in the moon, or we would just talk.

Last night was the fullest and the biggest moon the earth would have seen all year. Yay D: I sat out there in the bone chilling wind looking at this beautiful moon and nothing. No little kid moment, other than I remember talking to "the man." Just wow that is pretty, SHRUG, oh well it is just the moon. The moon is like my favorite thing. The KtB apathy has returned to me like the black cloud it was for so long. I think my real smile is going away again, and it is back to just back in my shell of Bitch.

I know I lost all of my imagination when I grew up and actually learned about the moon. It doesn't bother me. It is what we do it is what part of becoming a grown up, sadly, and why grown-ups are such miserable people. Everything around us is we take too seriously. We want what we want and want it now. Really we are all little Vurika Salts From Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
I want my coffee and I want it done right, I paid a lot for the coffee. I want my money...I will share with whom I see fit, I worked for it and only if I think you should be invited into my family then you can come into my family. As adults we have forgotten how to share, like we were told to by our mothers when were children.

I think what is getting to me now is he should have been here. Whenever there is an event like this he should have been here. He never is. I never once have ever gotten him for any of these things. The first snow, he went to a friends house instead of postponing it. This, he broke up with me leaving me to enjoy (I will say beautiful) an amazing moon plus some snow all to myself, again. Any romantic chance he gets has been blown to bits because there is something coming up. Granted he did break up with you so no you never get him again...

Oh wait, who could forget: HE IS NOT ACTUALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND TRULY BELIEVEs HE WILL NEVER BE!!!!! Which is a horridly shitty one.

I have this epiphany though it is a rather good one. Oh well anther day...I get to go to work again today and serve people coffee the right way. It is only for now, I will have something better soon...I will be a teacher DAMN IT