Well fat ass what the hell are you going to do about that? I have felt this way for the past week now and it could be for the lack of getting my butt out of bed and getting it to the gym. I have not wanted to go to the gym or really do anything at all in the past week. I ride my bike to classes because I do not want to pay for parking. (A big fat waste of money, plus it is just more economical to ride your bike, plus it has been perfect weather). SO I made myself get my fat, flabby feeling ass out of bed and go running. Plus it is Spring in RENO! We have Spring, it is an amazing concept there is Spring in Reno!
Today was not a good running day. I literally had it kicked. First the music on my iPhone was not helping. It was shit! Flat out shit. I could not connect with the grove. There was nothing getting me moving. So I had to get the mentality of it going. 1 2 1 2 1 2... I am getting my pace, taking the hill breathing. FUCK! This is just not working. JUST SHUT UP AND DO. Pass this guy, you are almost to the park then you can walk. His stupid Dachshund bit me as I jumped off the sidewalk, because he took the whole thing up. I stopped because the rat shit dog was barking at me and just BIT ME!... SO Far the run is just not going well. FUCKING NAPOLEONIC DOG! OK 1 2 1 2 1 2... Almost to the park, if you make it then you can walk. Still really shitty music, IGNORE IT, MAKE IT TO THE PARK! It was a stupid beginning, but this week has been a rough one. It was hurting, I was getting mad at me because I know I can do it. Why wasn't I doing it. Fuck this I am going to turn around.
I did not. I started laughing, and made it to the park. I stopped took some breaths. I did not change the music though. I just walked. I was being challenged, so I kept laughing. Yes a bit crazy, but why not laugh at it I was getting mad but that was not helping, LAUGH at it. I listened to the music. "My Brilliant Feat" By Colin Hay came on. There we go, just take a break and cool it; meditate on this and pick it up when you can go. I walked through the park, Finished the park and started running again.
Getting past that point of UGH! to DO! is the hard part. Once I did it then it was easy. This is the problem with getting started. A week off is not bad, but it was lazy, the negative was catching up to me. A year ago I was fifty pounds heavier. I let everything about whatever it was in my life catch up with me, and I was getting lazy. I let the past week get me lazy. So I just went running. There will be a lot of things trying to take a person down, so find that outlet to make them go away. It has to be a positive outlet though. Five to ten years ago I would take the lazy negative route.
BAD MOVE number one. Becoming overwhelmed with the negative. This can be a very strange thing girls do. So wake up college girls and start sweating. GET OFF YOUR PHONES AT THE GYM. Girls talk a lot and we look for every excuse to not to "do." We want to complain, I do it all the time. I want to complain about how horrid my life is, and I do. There are other outlets for this as well. Sweat it out. Make it hurt like hell. Take whatever problem it is and use it to your advantage. Look at Fergie (not the singer, the Duchess), she got nothing from her former family, so she said watch what I am going to do! She used all she knew and took advantage, I will exploit you and use this to MY advantage. She basically gave the royal family the finger. GO Fergie GO! The more I use something negative to my advantage, I tend to forget about it. It will go away because I move on from it. The anger inside turns to something positive. I sweat it out and completely forget about. Plus then I also built muscle and am losing weight.
GOOD MOVE number one. Eating! DO NOT STARVE YOURSELF! This will kill you, and it is stupid. Eat what you want, in context. If you want a big fat greasy cheese burger then have it! Remember though to have one and a small amount of fries. If you ate healthy all day and worked your fat flabby feeling ass off at the gym then eat what you want. The more you eat the better off you will feel, and the better off you will look. Take it how you want, there will be more about eating later, I have a philosophy about this. I did not follow my philosophy for a long time though, I would not eat all day then eat like a tub of ice cream and pizza or some crap later. BOOM! There was the shit that I was gaining. The more you hate your body the more you go to your negative outlets and the more you tend to downfall. This can be the case with most girls.
Most girls* have an eating disorder in some way or another. It becomes and addiction for them this is not a clinical analysis, this is an observation of my friends and the girls around me. We go for comfort, whether it is the comfort of the food around us or the comfort of the starvation, we do it. We use it for attention, and we cannot help it. Get mad at this statement if you do not agree with it, I do not care, but look at yourself and really ask "When have I done this at one point in my life." I had to do the same thing, and it made me mad at myself.
The point is, when you feel down figure out a routine and DO. It hurts at first and probably always will. The more you DO the connection with the hurt turns positive. I learned how to reconnect with me, that is something we are so missing. We connect with the outside world so much we miss our own personal connections. Music on your phone is one thing, but the rest should be shut off when you are connecting with yourself. Sweat it out and DO! Start to laugh at the negative, crying just makes your face messy. Remember there is no try; do or do not...
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