Stupid Seizures

This is really starting to drive me crazy.  Having seizures and not knowing where they are coming from is not fair, I cannot handle it.  No one knows how I got them no one knows where they are coming from in my brain.  They doctors are not able to actually figure it out.  This is really just not something I want to deal with anymore and it is making me so unhappy I cannot focus.  I am having one every two weeks now.  

What the hell? I understand we all have burdens we have to carry, but I try so hard to be a good person.  This burden is making things so hard on me, I do not know how to actually be happy when it comes to just being.  There is always this at the back of my mind as to when i will have a seizure, and then which it is so much fun to have, and then it so much painful afterwards.  I just wish they would stop as quickly as they started.  

I think things like that would be fair.  Right!?