Blog Revamp and Yoda

I have decided to Re-vamp this whole thing. There will still be Knitting on here but it will also be about this whole silly thing called "the twenties." The "Dear Me's" will continue, along with the progression from college student to TEACHER! This is going to be about life as well. So girls read this know it and learn from my silly girl moments. Please remember I have the mouth of a sailor so this is your warning if you are easily offended.

For the few people who read this there have been many changes going on. I am now in summer term of school. Fun times for me, I love school this way. Five weeks of intense schooling and studying. It is do or do not there is no try, as Yoda says, and I apply this in a summer school situation. You have to make it or break it. I so far am making it. For example, I asked one of my professors the other day, "Am I one of the stupids in this class or am I doing well?" He told me to "Shut the Hell up and you are doing well, you actually contribute in a scholarly manner, please I would be disappointed if you dropped." I was feeling like I should drop it and was not sure. He reassured me I was not one of the stupids and gave a lot of insightful arguments to the discussions. It is something I always fail to realize when I am involved in the school environment. I R Smart, that's right SMRT!!! haha Thank you Homer Simpson!

Work wise, I got FIRED! It is bittersweet, because now I have a ton of options and I hated my job. I can now do more and I think it is the kick in the ass I needed to move forward in life. It was just Starbucks. It was a stupid reason as to why I got fired, but really to be fired because they want to push the lowly Barista out is pathetic. There will be more on this one as well.

I loved my customers. I was staying because of them, every morning Bob would come in get a donut and a cup of coffee, because he liked to see my smile. He is in his seventies. I adored this old man because he lost his wife last year and was actually looking out for me. I knew just how he liked his coffee and would save him a donut. I would just sit there and listen to him, he would tell me how he would pray for me to quit smoking, I would tell him how I would pray for him because he was old, and I just hoped he made it home safe from Starbucks each morning. We would have a good laugh about it and see him tomorrow. There were the little girls who would show me their shoes each morning, and I would remind them when they grew up they could have a whole closet full of shoes if they wanted. I think their mothers appreciated this because they got a break from having to pay constant attention to their children. Not to mention the Pauls. There was Paul from Belfast and his grande latte. Paul, who I would sit down with and talk with about life and the mysteries of the universe. Paul the business man who drove the Mercedes and we would talk about running and other things like business. I also have countless numbers, who really I wish I could have gotten a chance to say goodbye to.

ANYWAYS....

Back to Yoda. "There is do or do not there is no try" In the past twelve months I have adopted this mentality. Yes there is failure in doing, but at least I did it. Ouch that stupid scrape hurts how can I do it without falling this time. This is something that has to be realized by everyone. I have fell down many times, many times! (When I was a kid, and when as an adult) When I was I kid, I would not even cry, then I hit my teens and that went away. My early twenties, this whole "fuck the world mentality" started coming back, but there was this moment after I was fired, it went away. A friend said to me "Where are your balls?" What? "Your balls, Katie? You had cohones mas grande a few weeks ago and now you are acting like silly little girl."

I was sad and pathetic and that fired scrape hurt like hell. I was doing, but I failed, now I am bleeding and I want my mommy!!!! WWWAAA!!! I just could not grasp why I was fired! I was on this road to happiness! I was going for my brass ring even if it meant keeping at something I did not like. I was just doing, I was good at it. Well that was thing, grab life by the balls or find yours and move the fuck on. "I won't back down there ain't no easy way out!" Just like Tom Petty says, "There ain't no easy way out!" I failed yes, but at least I did it! There were some aspects that were so worth it and there were some that were so not worth it in the end, and all I can say is one...well there will be more on that later...

The do is back, and now I just do not care, I will do! It will hurt like hell but I will do, and fuck it I will fail at somethings, but it will be on my own terms. I cannot wait for the future and what it holds, because of this. This is a move forward in the right direction, and well most will still be stuck... Yada yada yada I could ramble on for hours.